Psalm 139

" 1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness
4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
-New International Version


This is pretty neat. On Wednesday night, my sister Freedom gave me a call and said, "America's Next Top Model is casting for their season 13. Guess what they're looking for for that season? "What?" "Models that are 5'7 and SHORTER." "Wait- what?!"

I was so excited to hear that because when the show first started, YEARS ago, I went directly online to try and find the requirements to apply for the show and they were that you had to be 5'7 and TALLER... I was of course, immediately bummed, being 5'4 and all, but thought to myself, "Dang. They need to have a show where it's shorter models for print ads or something. That would be great." But I let it go, never thought about it again.

And now, randomly, here it is, the very thought I'd had, they are doing. I knew I couldn't pass this opportunity up. I went online to check out and make SURE these where the requirements. Confirmed. I checked the due in- date... March 10th. Crap.

I had to get all this information, all these photos, and 15 page application printed and filled out, on top of a 3 minute video. But surprisingly, everything has been falling into place relatively quickly. Yesterday, practically the whole day (from 10.30a to 10.30p) was spent on filming the 3 minute video, editing it, and putting it to a DVD.

I have all my paperwork filled out (quicker than I thought that would be). Now basically all that's left is taking everything to Fed-Ex and shipping it out. THAT'S EXCITING!

It's MORE exciting when I keep in mind that I already have a goal if I were to get onto the show. I would still hold my accountability with my leaders, remain in the word every morning, even if that meant waking up at 4a just to make sure I get it in. It's very important to me that if I got on that show, I would keep God first because he's the reason I'd be there to begin with!

That's what I see out of this chapter in Psalms. There's no where I could go that God would not be, and that's encouraging. It's also a request to God to search my thoughts and see any areas where I might be anxious (because I really don't feel that I am. I honestly will pray over the package as I send it, then forget about it, unless I get some sort of call in the future.) but if there's any area that is out of whack, then I want to see it so I can deal with it right then and there.

Lord,
If I ended up getting to be a part of that show, it'd be pretty great, but all my trust and hopes are in YOU, Lord, not a television show. I thank you for this opportunity and for the things you're teaching me through it. I ask that you search my heart and my thoughts and bring up any thoughts or anxiousness that might be there. I love you entirely and I ask for your favor with the Producers who view the video, if it be your will for me to go, that it will happen as you will it. I bless your name, Jesus, and I look forward for that opportunity to share you and my church with the rest of the world. But whatever it is that you want, Lord, I'll do it. If you told me to stay put and be content with going to cell, going to church, and try to reach people here in Orlando for the rest of my life, I'd be content with that. May your will be done. I Love you so so much. Holy Spirit be with me today as I have to get this package mailed out and go to Waterford Lakes to do a photo shoot for the radio station. I thank you that I've getting favor in my life. I thank you that you are blessing me and taking control of my finances which I've given you. You are amazing.

amen.