Proverbs 1.7

" 7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discipline."
-New International Version
"7The reverent and worshipful fear of the Lord is the beginning and the principal and choice part of knowledge [its starting point and its essence]; but fools despise skillful and godly Wisdom, instruction, and discipline."
-The Amplified Bible

Discipline time.

I'm learning a lot over the past few days, and no. It doesn't feel good. But I have to choose to have the wisdom of God. I have to choose to be disciplined, I have to choose to do what doesn't feel good or fair or fun. God is trying to show me something. He's trying to teach me something. And as long as I keep the ultimate goal in mind at all times, it should help me through it. That ultimate dream that I TRUST AND BELIEVE that God will give to me is my reward so long as I stay strong and open to receive wisdom and discipline.

I had an opportunity last night to run. Again. Anger arises and starts to tell you that you are justified in your actions and "hell, why not run away?". I had to physically tell myself NO. I'm CHOOSING to stay strong in the Lord. I'm CHOOSING to lean on him.

Lord,
Help me through this. Thank you that I don't have to go through it alone. Thank you for loving me enough to want me to be a better person. Don't allow me to be a fool and despise wisdom, despise knowledge, despise discipline, not just from myself but discipline from others. I love you and I trust you with my whole heart. My whole mind. My whole strength. Holy Spirit, be with me today and keep me diligent. Make me creative. Keep my eyes open for which way I should go. I love you. I trust you.

amen.