" 1-7So, my son, throw yourself into this work for Christ. Pass on what you heard from me—the whole congregation saying Amen!— to reliable leaders who are competent to teach others. When the going gets rough, take it on the chin with the rest of us, the way Jesus did. A soldier on duty doesn't get caught up in making deals at the marketplace. He concentrates on carrying out orders. An athlete who refuses to play by the rules will never get anywhere. It's the diligent farmer who gets the produce. Think it over. God will make it all plain.
8-13Fix this picture firmly in your mind: Jesus, descended from the line of David, raised from the dead. It's what you've heard from me all along. It's what I'm sitting in jail for right now—but God's Word isn't in jail! That's why I stick it out here—so that everyone God calls will get in on the salvation of Christ in all its glory. This is a sure thing:
If we die with him, we'll live with him;
If we stick it out with him, we'll rule with him;
If we turn our backs on him, he'll turn his back on us;
If we give up on him, he does not give up—
for there's no way he can be false to himself.
14-18Repeat these basic essentials over and over to God's people. Warn them before God against pious nitpicking, which chips away at the faith. It just wears everyone out. Concentrate on doing your best for God, work you won't be ashamed of, laying out the truth plain and simple. Stay clear of pious talk that is only talk. Words are not mere words, you know. If they're not backed by a godly life, they accumulate as poison in the soul. Hymenaeus and Philetus are examples, throwing believers off stride and missing the truth by a mile by saying the resurrection is over and done with.
19Meanwhile, God's firm foundation is as firm as ever, these sentences engraved on the stones:
god knows who belongs to him.
spurn evil, all you who name god as god.
20-21In a well-furnished kitchen there are not only crystal goblets and silver platters, but waste cans and compost buckets—some containers used to serve fine meals, others to take out the garbage. Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing.
22-26Run away from infantile indulgence. Run after mature righteousness—faith, love, peace—joining those who are in honest and serious prayer before God. Refuse to get involved in inane discussions; they always end up in fights. God's servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey. You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart and a turning to the truth, enabling them to escape the Devil's trap, where they are caught and held captive, forced to run his errands. "
-The Message
2nd Timothy 2 really speaks of having good Godly character. Maybe that's why I enjoy reading it. It lays it out pretty plain and simply what we are to do in order to be living the life we were meant to live. It speaks of becoming the person you should be, it speaks of what you should or should not allow in your life (certain habits, talking, etc). There's just so much. And I love it.
It's just so interesting. I really believe that I have changed so so much since I've gone on The Encounter That Stuck (I say it that way because I had been on three, I think, before I finally went to one that STUCK. I just didn't get it and then I got it.) And that also speaks of ME in the OTHER seat, at the very end of the chapter in 2nd Timothy. "You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart and a turning to the truth, enabling them to escape the Devil's trap, where they are caught and held captive, forced to run his errands." And isn't that the dead truth! When you think of it, sometimes it's easy to think "Oh! Devil's errands! She's ripping off chicken heads and sacrificing small children to Satan!" But that's not even close to it at all! When I would go out drinking and flirt with guys to get what I wanted... That was me being a tool in the Devil's hands. Through me wanting to do "whatever I wanted", it not only tore ME up inside, but it also made it more possible for whoever I encountered to make wrong decisions and thus sin bred sin bred sin, so on and so forth. So you don't have to be sacrificing chickens to Satan to be running his errands. No. When you simply turn from what you know to be right and do THAT... you are allowing yourself to be his errandboy (or errandgirl). Your own choice. My own choice! Even though I hadn't seen it that way before, it doesn't make it okay.
It's like when you are driving and get pulled over by a cop. "Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?" "Actually- no. I honestly don't, sir. What did I do?" "You ran a stop sign back there. I'm going to have to give you a ticket." And you get all frustrated and angry. "But I didn't see the stop sign! That's not fair! It was hidden behind the tree! I didn't see it!" It doesn't change the fact that you're going to get a ticket for breaking the law.
It's the same thing. Just because you don't see how you can be an errandgirl (or errandboy) for the Enemy doesn't mean you're off the hook. Regardless of whether or not you saw it, it doesn't change that you've broken God's law.
Hope that's making sense. Anyway!
Jesus,
I thank you for today. I thank you that you offer kind correction. I recognize that if I don't listen to your kind correction, I know full well you'll send someone my way that will offer the same correction only... not so kind... So I pray and I command my soul to always be open to your correction, so that I may take it and learn from it and grow from it. Holy Spirit, I ask that you remain with me today, and into tonight while I'm at Mardi Gras working. I ask for opportunities to show your love in the simplest of ways. I love you like a fat kid loves cake.
amen.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
1st Corinthians 12.25-31
" 25-26The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don't, the parts we see and the parts we don't. If one part hurts, every other part is involved in the hurt, and in the healing. If one part flourishes, every other part enters into the exuberance.
27-31You are Christ's body—that's who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your "part" mean anything. You're familiar with some of the parts that God has formed in his church, which is his "body": apostles prophets teachers miracle workers healers helpers organizers those who pray in tongues.But it's obvious by now, isn't it, that Christ's church is a complete Body and not a gigantic, unidimensional Part? It's not all Apostle, not all Prophet, not all Miracle Worker, not all Healer, not all Prayer in Tongues, not all Interpreter of Tongues. And yet some of you keep competing for so-called "important" parts. "
-The Message
I find these verses to be SO true at my church, specifically. At Northwest, it's just a church full of REAL people, not trying to mask that they are dealing with REAL issues, and quick to celebrate when God does a REAL miracle in their lives. But that's not it. The entire church celebrates with them! It's really showing how we really ARE the body of Christ. When one part is hurting, the rest hurts. When one is celebrating, the rest celebrates!
I was asking my sister, however, about where each person's part is if we are all called to be Leaders at NWC. "Wouldn't that make all of us a 'head' as opposed to one being a head, one a foot, one a hand, etc etc?" And she explained it to me in a way that I now understand.
She said, "We are called to be disciples, that's even from Jesus. But he's given us different gifts to make that possible. One has a gift of teaching, one has a gift of helping. The one with a gift of teaching, it might be easier for them to get a cell group and get members than the one who's a helper, but even though the helper may have to work harder for their cell, they still have a gift to give in their walk. They will raise up more helpers, so on and so forth." That made it a little easier for me to understand.
I love how God chooses to bless us. I was talking (again) with Freedom last night just about how God is SO SO BIG... he doesn't NEED our help to get things done here on earth. Make sure you hear that... HE DOESN'T NEED OUR HELP... but he CHOSE us to help. He CHOSE us to take a part in his process. He's invited us into his life. He's decided to bless us. You hear that joke sometimes between people "Oh, thank you for gracing us with your presence..." But it's the truth with God! He seriously graces us with his presence. He blesses us with a glimpse of what he's doing. None of this is for me. If he chose to make me a teacher, a miracle worker, a helper, whatever!- I'm happy with it, not wishing I was something else, because it's not about me. God has seen me, for whatever reason, most effective as that one thing, not something else, and I'm merely a tool in what GOD is doing... It's not about me. That's a huge weight off your shoulders when you think about it. Thank GOD it's not about me... that's a LOT of work to get done in my own strength and quite honestly, I don't think it would even be possible. THAT'S why it's a relief. I don't need to worry about "always trying to make God happy".
I used to be like that, thinking that nothing was ever good enough for God, for people, and all that did was just bring me down, wear me out, until finally I fell away. Thank GOD I've learned the difference between trying to do it on my own, thinking all this weight was supposed to be on my shoulders, and realizing it's God who does it as long as I'm a willing vessel.
Jesus,
I thank you for my giftings you've given me. As much as I may love other people's giftings, I thank you that I'm not those, but instead, the specific ones you have given to me. This is where you find me most effective for YOUR glory, for YOUR kingdom. You truly are beautiful, most creative, and in control of everything, and I thank you for that. Thank you for calling me to be a part of what YOU are doing. I stand with both arms open and shouting a very loud "Use me"! Probably the only time I'll be okay with being used, haha. You are amazing. I love you so so much. Holy Spirit, hang out with me today. I ask for your creativity to inspire me as I finish up this post production for the next Diaries, coming in March. I love you, I love you, I love you.
amen.
27-31You are Christ's body—that's who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your "part" mean anything. You're familiar with some of the parts that God has formed in his church, which is his "body": apostles prophets teachers miracle workers healers helpers organizers those who pray in tongues.But it's obvious by now, isn't it, that Christ's church is a complete Body and not a gigantic, unidimensional Part? It's not all Apostle, not all Prophet, not all Miracle Worker, not all Healer, not all Prayer in Tongues, not all Interpreter of Tongues. And yet some of you keep competing for so-called "important" parts. "
-The Message
I find these verses to be SO true at my church, specifically. At Northwest, it's just a church full of REAL people, not trying to mask that they are dealing with REAL issues, and quick to celebrate when God does a REAL miracle in their lives. But that's not it. The entire church celebrates with them! It's really showing how we really ARE the body of Christ. When one part is hurting, the rest hurts. When one is celebrating, the rest celebrates!
I was asking my sister, however, about where each person's part is if we are all called to be Leaders at NWC. "Wouldn't that make all of us a 'head' as opposed to one being a head, one a foot, one a hand, etc etc?" And she explained it to me in a way that I now understand.
She said, "We are called to be disciples, that's even from Jesus. But he's given us different gifts to make that possible. One has a gift of teaching, one has a gift of helping. The one with a gift of teaching, it might be easier for them to get a cell group and get members than the one who's a helper, but even though the helper may have to work harder for their cell, they still have a gift to give in their walk. They will raise up more helpers, so on and so forth." That made it a little easier for me to understand.
I love how God chooses to bless us. I was talking (again) with Freedom last night just about how God is SO SO BIG... he doesn't NEED our help to get things done here on earth. Make sure you hear that... HE DOESN'T NEED OUR HELP... but he CHOSE us to help. He CHOSE us to take a part in his process. He's invited us into his life. He's decided to bless us. You hear that joke sometimes between people "Oh, thank you for gracing us with your presence..." But it's the truth with God! He seriously graces us with his presence. He blesses us with a glimpse of what he's doing. None of this is for me. If he chose to make me a teacher, a miracle worker, a helper, whatever!- I'm happy with it, not wishing I was something else, because it's not about me. God has seen me, for whatever reason, most effective as that one thing, not something else, and I'm merely a tool in what GOD is doing... It's not about me. That's a huge weight off your shoulders when you think about it. Thank GOD it's not about me... that's a LOT of work to get done in my own strength and quite honestly, I don't think it would even be possible. THAT'S why it's a relief. I don't need to worry about "always trying to make God happy".
I used to be like that, thinking that nothing was ever good enough for God, for people, and all that did was just bring me down, wear me out, until finally I fell away. Thank GOD I've learned the difference between trying to do it on my own, thinking all this weight was supposed to be on my shoulders, and realizing it's God who does it as long as I'm a willing vessel.
Jesus,
I thank you for my giftings you've given me. As much as I may love other people's giftings, I thank you that I'm not those, but instead, the specific ones you have given to me. This is where you find me most effective for YOUR glory, for YOUR kingdom. You truly are beautiful, most creative, and in control of everything, and I thank you for that. Thank you for calling me to be a part of what YOU are doing. I stand with both arms open and shouting a very loud "Use me"! Probably the only time I'll be okay with being used, haha. You are amazing. I love you so so much. Holy Spirit, hang out with me today. I ask for your creativity to inspire me as I finish up this post production for the next Diaries, coming in March. I love you, I love you, I love you.
amen.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Jeremiah 29.11-13
"11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
-The New International Version
"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. 12"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. 13-14"When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you"—God's Decree—"bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it. "
- The Message
Good MOOORRNNINNGG!!!
I love this passage. This is great. (ALL of it is haha.) This is a promise from God. To us. To me. I had to take it from the International Version AND the Message because I absolutely love how the Message translates it.
This really speaks to me about the situations that you go through that aren't all that comfortable. "Trials" as some call it. But I hate that word. It's become callused to me. Trials trials trials. What a common word. When you go through so much of it, you tend to hate it. But I love this passage because it's God's promise on situations you go through that he IS going to bring you through them. He IS going to give me the future I've been hoping for. THAT is good news... because I have big hopes for my future. BIG hopes for where I'll be in life sometime down the road (even today or tomorrow I'm further along than I was yesterday or last week.) God is good. That's a lot of trust into something you can't physically see, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I've heard this quote a lot in the past weekend and it's really been standing out to me. "If I were perfect and if everything in my life was perfect, I wouldn't have a need for God." That's boring. That's not fun. That's not building a relationship.
Jesus,
I thank you for the "trials" I have to go through. I see them as blessings because it's proof that you love me (more than) enough to entrust me with them so that I may come out victorious and with more character than when I went into them. May I be faithful in the small things you've given me so that you may give me more. I thank you that my future has already been written by your precious hand and it's a matter of me taking my journey in YOU to get there. You are so precious to me. Holy Spirit, I ask that you remain with me today as I have things to get done. I ask that you bless my hands as they work for your kingdom. May I not be worn down with tired eyes and lifeless limbs. I ask for your divine inspiration and creativity, and I thank you that I've been able to keep busy lately doing the things that I love. May I not be taken over with frustrations or get worn out. I love doing the things that I love! I thank you for your blessings in my life! I love you soooo much!
amen.
-The New International Version
"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. 12"When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. 13-14"When you come looking for me, you'll find me. "Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you"—God's Decree—"bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it. "
- The Message
Good MOOORRNNINNGG!!!
I love this passage. This is great. (ALL of it is haha.) This is a promise from God. To us. To me. I had to take it from the International Version AND the Message because I absolutely love how the Message translates it.
This really speaks to me about the situations that you go through that aren't all that comfortable. "Trials" as some call it. But I hate that word. It's become callused to me. Trials trials trials. What a common word. When you go through so much of it, you tend to hate it. But I love this passage because it's God's promise on situations you go through that he IS going to bring you through them. He IS going to give me the future I've been hoping for. THAT is good news... because I have big hopes for my future. BIG hopes for where I'll be in life sometime down the road (even today or tomorrow I'm further along than I was yesterday or last week.) God is good. That's a lot of trust into something you can't physically see, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I've heard this quote a lot in the past weekend and it's really been standing out to me. "If I were perfect and if everything in my life was perfect, I wouldn't have a need for God." That's boring. That's not fun. That's not building a relationship.
Jesus,
I thank you for the "trials" I have to go through. I see them as blessings because it's proof that you love me (more than) enough to entrust me with them so that I may come out victorious and with more character than when I went into them. May I be faithful in the small things you've given me so that you may give me more. I thank you that my future has already been written by your precious hand and it's a matter of me taking my journey in YOU to get there. You are so precious to me. Holy Spirit, I ask that you remain with me today as I have things to get done. I ask that you bless my hands as they work for your kingdom. May I not be worn down with tired eyes and lifeless limbs. I ask for your divine inspiration and creativity, and I thank you that I've been able to keep busy lately doing the things that I love. May I not be taken over with frustrations or get worn out. I love doing the things that I love! I thank you for your blessings in my life! I love you soooo much!
amen.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Romans 13.9-10
“The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”
OH LOOK! ANOTHER LOVE DEVOTION! Haha.
Welcome to the Love Month and get over it. >.< class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">conference that's been going on for free here at the Amway arena. I was a little iffy going into it because the old me has a habit of not really diving into big Christian movement. (That's so dumb, right?) And I always saw Joyce Meyer as "Oh that's great for other women struggling, go get God, ladies! Lord, bless Joyce Meyer and her ministry, but it's not for me." What a load of crap. She has such an anointing on her life and when someone preaches the Word of God, how can it not be for me? I realized it was just my pride, not wanting to take part in something feminine. I don't know why, but I never really liked females to begin with. But God is calling me into a new stage in life where I am to love ALL and embrace my femininity. It's OKAY to be a woman. That's the way God made me so there must be SOME reason- level of influence- heart of compassion- for why he created me to be a woman and not a man.
And I tell you what, I am really starting to get used to loving the things God is doing in my life, even if it's uncomfortable at times. I am seeing just how quickly things begin to change when I open my heart up completely to let the Lord do whatever his will is in me and don't hold him back with my own agenda or comforts.
Well yesterday, Dayari and I were leaving the morning session of Joyce Meyer when we saw that a woman's car had been hit in the parking lot and the other driver had fled the scene before anything could be done about it. We were walking to Dayari's car when she said, "I have a number for a good mechanic, I wonder if I should go give it to them." And I said a blunt and secure "Yeah, let's go." "Will that be weird? I don't know if I should." "It won't be weird, let's just go offer it." So we walked over to the woman who was talking to two other women and we offered her the number and immediately, God began to move. Excuse me- God was ALREADY moving, we just had to do our part.
We ended up talking and ministering to the woman who's car had been hit as well as her friend who had come with her, along with the other two women who were already there, and they made it a point to consistently say that this was no coincidence that we had approached or that they had approached, and long story short, we are supposed to have four new visitors at Northwest Community Church this Sunday.
God is so good! If we move in love as the bible says we should, it's so great how much faster things will get done. We sit and strive and beg God to bring us people to pray for and to minister to and lead but get so bogged down with the people already in our lives who know us and have a hard time receiving from us. Well in essence, forget about them! (I mean still pray for them and pray for opportunities) but start to look outside of your box- outside of your realm of friends. There's still tons of people hungry for (if not God alone) MORE of God and I have the answer to that. Love. Love love love. Love.
Love.
Get it yet? Get over yourself and your comforts. Get over whether or not it would be weird. All you're doing is getting in the way of what God is trying to do- how God is trying to bless you and others around you.
I've really learned a lot this weekend and it's exciting the things that I'm allowing God to take control of in my life. It's freeing to know that I don't have to worry about it any longer. My soul is taking a permanent vacation!
Jesus,
Thank you for constantly being alive and working in my life. I thank you that you are showing me the full meaning of such a powerful tool- love. I thank you that you have equipped me with a heart of compassion- a big big heart! I just proclaim that I am here for you, today, in any way that you choose to use me, I am your vessel. Use me. I want in on what you're doing. Holy Spirit, I ask that you remain with me today. You know what I will face today before I know what I will face today so I ask for the proper tools of your spirit to be able to get through anything through Christ that strengthens me. I love you more than words can express. Shulukt.
amen.
OH LOOK! ANOTHER LOVE DEVOTION! Haha.
Welcome to the Love Month and get over it. >.< class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">conference that's been going on for free here at the Amway arena. I was a little iffy going into it because the old me has a habit of not really diving into big Christian movement. (That's so dumb, right?) And I always saw Joyce Meyer as "Oh that's great for other women struggling, go get God, ladies! Lord, bless Joyce Meyer and her ministry, but it's not for me." What a load of crap. She has such an anointing on her life and when someone preaches the Word of God, how can it not be for me? I realized it was just my pride, not wanting to take part in something feminine. I don't know why, but I never really liked females to begin with. But God is calling me into a new stage in life where I am to love ALL and embrace my femininity. It's OKAY to be a woman. That's the way God made me so there must be SOME reason- level of influence- heart of compassion- for why he created me to be a woman and not a man.
And I tell you what, I am really starting to get used to loving the things God is doing in my life, even if it's uncomfortable at times. I am seeing just how quickly things begin to change when I open my heart up completely to let the Lord do whatever his will is in me and don't hold him back with my own agenda or comforts.
Well yesterday, Dayari and I were leaving the morning session of Joyce Meyer when we saw that a woman's car had been hit in the parking lot and the other driver had fled the scene before anything could be done about it. We were walking to Dayari's car when she said, "I have a number for a good mechanic, I wonder if I should go give it to them." And I said a blunt and secure "Yeah, let's go." "Will that be weird? I don't know if I should." "It won't be weird, let's just go offer it." So we walked over to the woman who was talking to two other women and we offered her the number and immediately, God began to move. Excuse me- God was ALREADY moving, we just had to do our part.
We ended up talking and ministering to the woman who's car had been hit as well as her friend who had come with her, along with the other two women who were already there, and they made it a point to consistently say that this was no coincidence that we had approached or that they had approached, and long story short, we are supposed to have four new visitors at Northwest Community Church this Sunday.
God is so good! If we move in love as the bible says we should, it's so great how much faster things will get done. We sit and strive and beg God to bring us people to pray for and to minister to and lead but get so bogged down with the people already in our lives who know us and have a hard time receiving from us. Well in essence, forget about them! (I mean still pray for them and pray for opportunities) but start to look outside of your box- outside of your realm of friends. There's still tons of people hungry for (if not God alone) MORE of God and I have the answer to that. Love. Love love love. Love.
Love.
Get it yet? Get over yourself and your comforts. Get over whether or not it would be weird. All you're doing is getting in the way of what God is trying to do- how God is trying to bless you and others around you.
I've really learned a lot this weekend and it's exciting the things that I'm allowing God to take control of in my life. It's freeing to know that I don't have to worry about it any longer. My soul is taking a permanent vacation!
Jesus,
Thank you for constantly being alive and working in my life. I thank you that you are showing me the full meaning of such a powerful tool- love. I thank you that you have equipped me with a heart of compassion- a big big heart! I just proclaim that I am here for you, today, in any way that you choose to use me, I am your vessel. Use me. I want in on what you're doing. Holy Spirit, I ask that you remain with me today. You know what I will face today before I know what I will face today so I ask for the proper tools of your spirit to be able to get through anything through Christ that strengthens me. I love you more than words can express. Shulukt.
amen.
Friday, February 20, 2009
1 John 4.15-21
" 15If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19We love because he first loved us. 20If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."
I know, I know. All this talk of LOOOVE... Well get over it! haha. It IS the LOVE MONTH after all. So grin and bear it. Maybe there's a reason you're not the happiest right now, take that as a check in your spirit and get right with God, because God is ALL about love.
With that being said, I really like these verses. They are so so true.
He who does not love his brother (or sister) (aka friends, ENEMIES, coworkers, bosses, etc etc) does not love the Lord. EEK! HARSH WORDS, GOD! But he's serious about this. We can't just be selfish and merely love God, or Jesus (in that vertical love). He wants us to also love people the way that HE loves people, without finding fault or blemish, (in that horizontal sort of love) and once you have both vertical and horizontal love, what do you get?
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, A CROSS...
God is love, God is love, God is love. I will continue to repeat it until it completely sinks into my spirit. I am called to love- that's a lifestyle that differs from what the world thinks is "normal or acceptable". According to the world, you don't like someone, that's fine, don't talk to them, leave them be. Whatever. But you know what that does? It leaves the possibility for the Enemy to place thoughts in your head about that person. Thoughts of anger, rage, maybe it's fear, jealousy, contempt, whatever the case. And you'll realize you've ended up in a worse place than where you've intended it to go.
Don't allow yourself to get to that point.
Jesus,
I thank you for today, sniffles, coughs, soar chest and all. I ask that you release your healing on me, in the name of Jesus. I put it in your hands and trust you. I ask for a larger heart to love more, Jesus. I want to always be remembered for my loving heart, not to be confused with someone that becomes a doormat and lets people walk all over, but a true, genuine heart of love, and in that would come discipline, vigor, and righteousness. I thank you for the place you have dragged me, literally took me by the shirt and plucked me out of... The deceptions I was living in, thus hardening my heart to not love. I thank you that I don't need to prove myself to anyone, but your love speaks for itself. Your spirit has given me my testimony and I love the fact that if anyone would have issue, all I need to do it point to you. You are my defender. My life is a living, walking testimony of your grace, your love, your abundance in life. Thank you. I am so in love with you. Holy Spirit, remain with me today as I make it through this sickieness. Fill my heart with your love, my head with your thoughts, my feet with the steps you want me to take, my mouth with your words. I love you so so much.
amen.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Crappy Internet Connection Sucks.
Yo.
Just a head's up. I've been doing my devotions but the Internet hasn't been connecting for a couple of days at my sister's house I haven't been posting them, but they are saved on my laptop. Woot Woot.
I'm sitting here at Freedom's. I called off work today with Tracey because I've come down with the same sickie that's been doing around. But since everyone at Freedom's is sickie too, she said it was cool to come over.
Vivia is watching The Wiggles. What a weird show. "Do YE' like cows?" Vivia in a soft voice- "Mmhmm..." So cute. Such a weird so, though... so weird...
Oh and I'm a prophet.
Just a head's up. I've been doing my devotions but the Internet hasn't been connecting for a couple of days at my sister's house I haven't been posting them, but they are saved on my laptop. Woot Woot.
I'm sitting here at Freedom's. I called off work today with Tracey because I've come down with the same sickie that's been doing around. But since everyone at Freedom's is sickie too, she said it was cool to come over.
Vivia is watching The Wiggles. What a weird show. "Do YE' like cows?" Vivia in a soft voice- "Mmhmm..." So cute. Such a weird so, though... so weird...
Oh and I'm a prophet.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Romans 8.12-39
12-14So don't you see that we don't owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There's nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God's Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!
15-17 This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!
18-21That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.
22-25All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
29-30God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.
31-39So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.
15-17 This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!
18-21That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.
22-25All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it's not only around us; it's within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We're also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.
26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
29-30God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.
31-39So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture: They kill us in cold blood because they hate you. We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.
-The Message
THIS IS SO GOOD!
God is so amazing. He continues to blow me away! And once again, reading it from The Message seems to only heighten what is being said for my puny ears to follow along. I love it I love it I love it.
Absolutely nothing can separate us from God's love. That's so good to continue to remind ourselves of. I know while I was away from the church, away from God, I felt so distant from him. I truly believed that "he had left me because I'm this horrible person and he is mad at me for what I've done and he wants nothing to do with me unless I'm willing to come back to him." And not a single word of that is true! He told me, once I had come back, that not only did he miss me, but he was so happy to have me back and he also said that NOTHING... I have done... has brought me too far from him. He still welcomed me back with loving arms wrapped tightly around me. And that's what's so wonderful. NOTHING... ANY OF US could do... would bring us too far from his love. He never left me. When I accepted him into my life ten years ago, he took it very seriously, he honored it, even if I hadn't. Even if I didn't know exactly what it all meant- he honored it. He never left. Yes, it's true that God and the enemy can not dwell in the same place, but he was continuously calling me back to him, whispering in my ear to steal me away, have me come and dance with him.
It's kind of like that scene in Romeo and Juliet. Juliet's having this grand party of the Capulet house, with all these beautiful people and costumes and it's so extravagant and wonderful, but she's just... miserable. She's not having fun like she's "supposed to be". And here comes Romeo. He wasn't supposed to be there. He was a Montague. Capulets' sworn enemy was the Montagues'. But he was in love with her, so he went against the rules and snuck in and called her away so they could have a moment together. Her moment of happiness.
Cheesie love story, I hear you. But in all honesty... that's an amazing comparison to what my life was like. Sure, I was living a life that most would call "normal" or "extravagant" but I wasn't happy. I knew what I was doing was wrong, I just chose to ignore it. Do not downplay the potential of reasoning. Reasoning only leads to deception. And that's exactly where I lived for so long. It says in the scripture to RUN from temptation... Now I fully understand why... Running involves every muscle in your body to absolutely flee the scene. Flee the circumstance. Flee the temptation. If you merely offer a lazy turn of your heel, you allow yourself time to second guess yourself- to REASON with yourself... And that's never a good thing.
Jesus,
Thank you that you are so alive and living in me. Thank you for your Holy Spirit. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for calling me by name to be yours and yours alone. You are amazing. Holy Spirit, I ask that you be with me today, I invite you into my every little detail of life today. You know what I'll face today, even if I don't. I ask that you prepare me spiritually, that you continue to speak to me, continue to call me away to have moments with you alone. Stretch my heart, make it bigger, Jesus. I want to love more. You impress me. You amaze me. You strengthen me. You belong to me and I belong to you. Shulukt.
amen.
-Photography still from "Romeo and Juliet" the film.
-Photography still from "Romeo and Juliet" the film.
Monday, February 16, 2009
1st John 3.11-24
"11For this is the original message we heard: We should love each other.
12-13We must not be like Cain, who joined the Evil One and then killed his brother. And why did he kill him? Because he was deep in the practice of evil, while the acts of his brother were righteous. So don't be surprised, friends, when the world hates you. This has been going on a long time.
14-15The way we know we've been transferred from death to life is that we love our brothers and sisters. Anyone who doesn't love is as good as dead. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know very well that eternal life and murder don't go together.
16-17This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.
18-20My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
21-24And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God! We're able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we're doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God's command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us. "
-The Message
I really love reading the bible. It's kinda crazy. I used to hate it. I used to never want to do it. And then once I came back and made a blog which held me accountable, the desire to learn more about Jesus and what we're supposed to do as his children, the blessings he has for us as his children, it's just ALL so amazing!
I like this passage in 1st John. It's about love again, big surprise (it IS the Love Month after all). But love has so many faces. Loving God, loving people, loving your family, loving your spouse, loving life... I could go on...
I've already gone into a big love topic in past blogs so I won't again, if you want to hear more about love, just continue to read down the blog, but I will point out a few things that spoke to me about these verses today.
I love how it says "God's reality". That's pretty awesome. That's the REAL reality. Everything else is just a sham, a facade, a blurry and distorted image of what human kind has been led to think reality should be, what life should be, how it should be lived. That's how we know that it's not really reality when different cultures all over the world have different practices or methods of even marriage or age in which they begin to work, etc etc... the entire world's perception of reality is not the same thus it's not really reality, is it? But God stands true, he stands real. He never changes. You could go to India or Africa and find Christians loving the same God you are with the same principals you live by, and I love that. It makes you feel like you're part of something huge, something bigger than just YOUR life or YOUR problems... And that's the reality of it!
That's good stuff.
Lord,
Thank you for today. I ask for physical healing in my muscles and my neck from all my hard work lately, in the name of Jesus. Please be with Tracey today as she has to still get to work without me today, and I ask that Sarah be a blessing to her and their ability to get things done. Thank you for your Holy Spirit, Jesus. Please be with me today as I'm taking care of Sofia. I just proclaim that today will be a delightful day without many baby tears or disobedience from Mekaih. I speak your love over today, Jesus. Holy Spirit, you're welcome into my heart and all it's hidden places to reside and rearrange the furniture to how YOU see fit. I love you so much.
amen.
12-13We must not be like Cain, who joined the Evil One and then killed his brother. And why did he kill him? Because he was deep in the practice of evil, while the acts of his brother were righteous. So don't be surprised, friends, when the world hates you. This has been going on a long time.
14-15The way we know we've been transferred from death to life is that we love our brothers and sisters. Anyone who doesn't love is as good as dead. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know very well that eternal life and murder don't go together.
16-17This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.
18-20My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.
21-24And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God! We're able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we're doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God's command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us. "
-The Message
I really love reading the bible. It's kinda crazy. I used to hate it. I used to never want to do it. And then once I came back and made a blog which held me accountable, the desire to learn more about Jesus and what we're supposed to do as his children, the blessings he has for us as his children, it's just ALL so amazing!
I like this passage in 1st John. It's about love again, big surprise (it IS the Love Month after all). But love has so many faces. Loving God, loving people, loving your family, loving your spouse, loving life... I could go on...
I've already gone into a big love topic in past blogs so I won't again, if you want to hear more about love, just continue to read down the blog, but I will point out a few things that spoke to me about these verses today.
I love how it says "God's reality". That's pretty awesome. That's the REAL reality. Everything else is just a sham, a facade, a blurry and distorted image of what human kind has been led to think reality should be, what life should be, how it should be lived. That's how we know that it's not really reality when different cultures all over the world have different practices or methods of even marriage or age in which they begin to work, etc etc... the entire world's perception of reality is not the same thus it's not really reality, is it? But God stands true, he stands real. He never changes. You could go to India or Africa and find Christians loving the same God you are with the same principals you live by, and I love that. It makes you feel like you're part of something huge, something bigger than just YOUR life or YOUR problems... And that's the reality of it!
That's good stuff.
Lord,
Thank you for today. I ask for physical healing in my muscles and my neck from all my hard work lately, in the name of Jesus. Please be with Tracey today as she has to still get to work without me today, and I ask that Sarah be a blessing to her and their ability to get things done. Thank you for your Holy Spirit, Jesus. Please be with me today as I'm taking care of Sofia. I just proclaim that today will be a delightful day without many baby tears or disobedience from Mekaih. I speak your love over today, Jesus. Holy Spirit, you're welcome into my heart and all it's hidden places to reside and rearrange the furniture to how YOU see fit. I love you so much.
amen.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
John 11.17-44 Jesus' Love
17On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, 19and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. 20When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.
21"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."
23Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
24Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."
25Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"
27"Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world."
28And after she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. "The Teacher is here," she said, "and is asking for you." 29When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. 30Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
32When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."
33When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34"Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied.
35Jesus wept.
36Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"
37But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?"
Jesus Raises Lazarus From the Dead 38Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39"Take away the stone," he said. "But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."
40Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"
41So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me."
43When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" 44The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go."
21"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."
23Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
24Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."
25Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"
27"Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world."
28And after she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. "The Teacher is here," she said, "and is asking for you." 29When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. 30Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
32When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."
33When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34"Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied.
35Jesus wept.
36Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"
37But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?"
Jesus Raises Lazarus From the Dead 38Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39"Take away the stone," he said. "But, Lord," said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days."
40Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"
41So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, "Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me."
43When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come out!" 44The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, "Take off the grave clothes and let him go."
Oh my GOSH I love this! The shortest verse in the whole bible: "Jesus wept." And I always knew that but I never looked into "Okay, he wept. Why did he cry?" And I've found it. It makes it so real. It makes Jesus so real just to see that he really WAS here as a man... dealing with the same issues and problems that the rest of us do on a daily basis. He cried because one of his best friends whom he loved had died. And I believe, not only that, but he was crying to see everyone hurting so bad around him (everyone else crying). That's what having a big heart will do to a person- you can't even stand to see someone else sad. Of course he knew he was going to raise him from the dead... but that didn't change the emotion that was sweeping through the people and thus through him. He loved Martha and Mary and Lazarus, so when they hurt, he hurt. That's love.
How could anyone deny Jesus? I just don't get it! Well I get it but that's not what I'm saying. I guess what I mean is... once you've had a REAL taste of Jesus... why would you ever want to go back?
Lord,
Happy Valentine's Day! I am so in love with you. You show me so much and I thank you for that. You are precious. I thank you that you sent Jesus to have a human heart and to love like a human so that we could see what perfection really looks like. YOU are perfect. YOU are love. YOU are amazing. Holy Spirit I ask that you remain with me today, keep me company while out to breakfast with the family and even tonight at work. I love you so so much.
amen.
Friday, February 13, 2009
John 3.16-21
"16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. 19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.""
Didn't realize this verse has more to it, didjya!? Haha. Well it does and it's SO GOOD... because his word is a sword and it just cuts right through the lies and deception and as it stands there's no way you can try to reason with it to try and make it make sense in your head. It states cold, hard facts. He loved the world. He gave his son. Whoever believes won't perish. He didn't send him to condemn, but to save it. If you don't believe, you are already condemned (not by God). Humankind love their sin too much then it remains in the dark. And since Jesus is light, it's not even possible for both to co-exist.
So what areas of your heart could be exposed? What are you willing to give up for a better life, walking in the Light with Jesus?
That's a good question. I know what I had to give up, and I tell you the truth, I don't want it back now. What I have now is so much better.
Jesus,
Thank you for your ultimate sacrifice. You were brutally beaten, stabbed, mocked, hung on a cross, all so I wouldn't have to live my life in pains and frustrations and devouring sins. What an Ultimate Sacrifice... How dare I not be willing to give up (aka sacrifice) my sins that hide in the dark to you. My thoughts- getting angry- frustrated- getting offended- being prideful. I break each of these from my life, in the name of Jesus and ask your forgiveness. Holy Spirit, give me your joy, your ability to work hard through these tough situations so that I may have my harvest. I love you, Jesus.
amen.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Matthew 22.34-40 More Lovie Dovie!
"34Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:
36"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." -NIV
" 34-36When the Pharisees heard how he had bested the Sadducees, they gathered their forces for an assault. One of their religion scholars spoke for them, posing a question they hoped would show him up: "Teacher, which command in God's Law is the most important?"
37-40Jesus said, "'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.' This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' These two commands are pegs; everything in God's Law and the Prophets hangs from them." -The Message
---
I love how in one version is says "With all your heart, you soul, your mind," and the other version says "With all your passion, your prayer, and intelligence." Different translations errupt different thought processes, and that's a good thing. It helps you realize what exactly was being said.
I'm reading a book right now (Joyce Meyer "Battlefield of the Mind") and I tell you what... it is a great book, I suggest it to anyone that is much like me and most of the issues in life start in your head because you're such a big thinker. This book is for you, just as it is for me. It talks about HOW you love the Lord with your full mind, doing such things as giving up the need to be in control and worry about issues, or giving up your desire to reason your way out of listening to God's will.
How many times, when he hear God speak loud and clearly and our spirit knows it's the right thing, but once we start thinking about it, we begin to reason with ourselves and before you know it you've talked yourself out of listening to what God specifically told you to do.
I used to do that a lot. I've asked the Holy Spirit to be a gentle reminder to me when I start to act out in these habitual ways so I can start to see it and stop it in it's tracks (if I'm incapable of noticing it myself).
And I have to say, I'm super excited. Once you've won the battlefield of your mind, there is so much victory and I can't WAIT to have it to it's full extent! You don't realize it but your mind gets in the way and robs you of SO MUCH God has for you. I'm ready for THAT to be over!
Lord,
Thank you that you're constantly telling me things that need work because you love me and you want what's absolutely best for me. I trust you. I know that THAT is why you do these things. I ask that you remain with me today, Holy Spirit. Continue to build and work on my character in these every-day little things that I'm learning to do. I love you.
amen.
PS: What are you doing to do for Jesus this Valentine's Day? I'm serious. Plan something out. Have a date. He loves that sort of stuff.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I couldn't help it...
With all due respect, Mr. President, practice what you preach...
http://www.fightfoca.com/ : Sign the petition (it only takes ONE minute)
http://www.prolife.com/ : See why you should sign the petition (Graphic Material)
1st Corinthians 1.26-31: Something to think about...
" 26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."
Lord,
You work in mysterious ways and I really love that about you. May I never be proud and headstrong about where I've been, what I've accomplished, Where I'm going (only excited in you, God!) Holy Spirit, remain with me today as I head out to start my day. Keep me warm. I love you, Jesus.
Amen.
Lord,
You work in mysterious ways and I really love that about you. May I never be proud and headstrong about where I've been, what I've accomplished, Where I'm going (only excited in you, God!) Holy Spirit, remain with me today as I head out to start my day. Keep me warm. I love you, Jesus.
Amen.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
1st Corinthians 13: LOVE
"1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.
8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
11When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.
12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. "
Do we get it? Nothing is possible without love. We get no where without love. What is love?
I looked it up on Dictionary.com and there are- get this- 28 different definitions. For one word, 28 different ways to use the word. That's pretty big. I opened up my I-Tunes and typed in the word "Love" in my search. 92 songs came up. And that's just the songs that had the word in it's title, not even the songs which slyly and creatively sing about it or around it... Love is pretty powerful.
It's pretty easy to have our hearts hardened toward love. One simple thing happens and without us even realizing it, we've subconsciously made a decision: "Well that will never happen to me again..." "I'll never let someone hurt me like that again..." "You betrayed my trust, well that's fine. I'll never see you the same way again..." And before you know it, you have put walls around your heart. Sometimes you don't even know those walls are there, and you reach a situation where you have the opportunity to cry or to grieve and you're stuck asking yourself "Why can't I cry over this? Why am I not sad? How can I sit here and watch this and be completely void of emotion?" That's a pretty big indicator that your heart has become hard.
I liken it to a few different situations in my life. Caylee Anthony. The homeless. My family.
Caylee Anthony: "Oh my gosh, will they shut UP about Caylee Anthony already? Oh my GOSH, they're airing her memorial service on the news? Oh my GOSH, enough already!" How completely selfish of me. Key indicator of a hardened heart. It didn't hit me until I was sitting here with my earphones in, listening to Bjork- "All is Full of Love" and watching her memorial service as they flashed through old videos of Caylee Anthony. Then finally the thought came to me... She was three when she died... Regardless of HOW she died or WHO killed her... she was three... And that could have been my niece Vivia. I very well could be watching my Vivia's memorial service. Stab to the heart. This family is going through a grieving process, they aren't super-human just because all we've seen of the situation is through the news. They are real people, dealing with a real loss. How selfish of me to be grumbling that all the news is portraying is Caylee Anthony, Caylee Anthony, Caylee Anthony... I need to love more.
The homeless: "They did this to themselves. I don't want to give them money because they will just use it on alcohol or drugs or worse... I'm sick of seeing people begging for money. Go get a job. Try to help yourself then I'll help you." While some of that may be true (okay possibly all of it...) How many times have I been at the bottom of my hole? Did I do it to myself? Most of the time. Have I ever squandered my money on things I didn't really need when I should have been saving? You bet. How many times have I been sick to death of having to ask people for money? Every day. Have I been trying to get a job? Every day. The homeless are people too. They are like you. Like me. They've just reached the bottom of their hole and most don't even know how to climb back out. There was a time when I would be out and see homeless people, I'd salute them and say "Hey! I'm right there with ya, man!" when I was without job, without home, without money... But I'd say this out the window of my car as I was on my way to go out with my friends. How selfish of me. I don't have it as bad as them. But if I show love... give them that little bit that I have to give, it's now THEIR money, what they do with it is NOT MY BUSINESS... I've done my part to show love. I need more love.
My family: "We always act this way around each other. Things never change. Why does she embarrass me so much? I hate when she does that. I hate that he isn't this." When you grow up with a big family, it's easy to sometimes feel looked over, like you don't matter as much as the others, like you got the short straw in comparison. It's like when you have a zit, (I know, go ahead and laugh) and you get dressed to go out that night, you look awesome, everything is fitting perfect, but YOU JUST CAN'T STOP STARING at that zit! You feel less pretty. You feel as if the night would be perfect if ONLY you didn't have this thing in the middle of your forehead that seems to talk louder than your own voice to the people around you... It's yours so of course you know it's there. You're the one who has to live with it. It's kinda like that with family. You know the struggles, you know everyone's weaknesses, you know everyone's attitudes... How selfish of me. I am blessed to have a family. And even greater, a family that loves and worships the Lord, Jesus Christ. No one is perfect. NO ONE. Not even me. When you have love, it's easier to get along and look over and look past all those struggles, weaknesses, attitudes... I need more love.
Lord,
I ask for your forgiveness for not loving as much as I'm capable of loving. Forgive me for being selfish. You are the perfect example, Jesus. You love. You are love. I want to change the dictionary and the only definition it really needs it "Love: see Jesus". You are unfathomable. I ask, Holy Spirit, for more opportunities to love. Change the areas of my heart that don't love. Tear down any remaining walls around my heart that would keep me from loving. May I use 1st Corinthians as my guide map on how to love more. I thank you for your love, Jesus. It's beyond anything I could ever imagine. Shulukt, Jesus. I want my eyes to burn with a passion like I believe yours did, Jesus. A passion to love. I love that my entire body fills with chills when I simply speak your name. That's because of love. Shulukt, Jesus.
amen.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Matthew 5.33-37 Character Building!
" 33"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' 34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."
Okay for the record, I didn't die or fall off the planet. The Internet wasn't connecting two mornings ago and that's why I didn't have a devo posted, but I did do them, saved as Microsoft Word files and alas here I am. Early Sunday morning and fresh and ready to hear from God.
This verse speaks a lot. I like it. It talks of building your character (A LOT of character building going on these days!) It gets down to the gnitty-gritty. Let me explain.
How many times in simple conversation have I ever say, "Oh, I SWEAR I was going to..." or "Don't believe me? I SWEAR!" or "I SWEAR... This was the BIGGEST bear I'd ever seen!"
And I sit here thinking back and realizing... (let your yes be yes and your no be no...) If I had character in the area of lying or keeping my word... using the I SWEARS wouldn't feel like a necessity. Or even if I BELIEVED to have character in those areas, your whole vocabulary would begin to change.
"I know I wanted to..." "Don't believe me? Well it's the truth." "This really was the biggest bear I'd ever seen!"
I know, without a shadow of a doubt that God has changed me and rearranged my heart and made me a woman of character.
A person of character doesn't have to prove themselves to anyone, and God's definitely dealing with me about that lately. I don't owe anyone anything, it's not my job to impress or make anyone happy. My focus needs to be solely on God. And it definitely is what I aim for.
Lord,
I want you to change and rearrange my vocabulary. Holy Spirit, I ask for you gentle conviction each time I say "I swear..." and that it's only a friendly reminder that I still need to change and build my character in that area. May my yes be yes and my no be no. Hang out with me today, Holy Spirit. I love you.
amen.
Pahahaha Photo courtesy of BodyBuilding.com. Yes. That's Arnold.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Psalm 97
1 The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad;
let the distant shores rejoice.
2 Clouds and thick darkness surround him;
righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.
3 Fire goes before him
and consumes his foes on every side.
4 His lightning lights up the world;
the earth sees and trembles.
5 The mountains melt like wax before the LORD,
before the Lord of all the earth.
6 The heavens proclaim his righteousness,
and all the peoples see his glory.
7 All who worship images are put to shame,
those who boast in idols—
worship him, all you gods!
8 Zion hears and rejoices
and the villages of Judah are glad
because of your judgments, O LORD.
9 For you, O LORD, are the Most High over all the earth;
you are exalted far above all gods.
10 Let those who love the LORD hate evil,
for he guards the lives of his faithful ones
and delivers them from the hand of the wicked.
11 Light is shed upon the righteous
and joy on the upright in heart.
12 Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous,
and praise his holy name.
...what an amazing God I serve...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
MUST HAVES / CAN'T STANDS
With the approval of my leader is my list of Must Haves/Can't Stands in who I will marry one day!
INTELLECTUAL
MUST HAVE:
- Always wanting to learn something new
- Finished High School and wanting to grow
- Always seeking God's answers
CAN'T STAND:
- Immaturity
- Pride
- Unmotivated
SPIRITUAL
MUST HAVE:
- Leader
- Listener
- Wise
- Great Character
- Always seeking after God's best in everything
- Worshiper
- Seeks wisdom from his leader/s
CAN'T STAND:
- Stagnancy
- Lover of the world
- Controlled by his emotions
PHYSICAL
MUST HAVE:
- Fit
- Motivated
- Will keep me on my toes
- Always wanting to take trips (skiing, surfing, hiking, etc.)
- Handsome! (hawt)
- Fashionable
- Cares about his appearance
- Clean
- Creative, Creative, Creative!
- Spontaneous
- Funny
- Tattoos with meaning
CAN'T STAND:
- Fat
- Unmotivated
- Shorter than me
- Unkempt
- Messy living
- Boring
- Being Buddy-Buddy or still friends with ex girlfriends
FINANCIAL
MUST HAVE:
- Stability
- Provider
- Tither
- Generous
- Joyously hard worker
CAN'T STAND:
- Instability
- Greed
CHARACTER:
MUST HAVE:
- Man of his word
- Takes pride in his woman
- Loves the Lord more than his woman
- Romantic (flowers, planned nights, love letters, etc)
- He'll chase after me
- He's been praying for me years before even knowing me
- Leader
- Wise
- Provider
- Thinks outside the box
CAN'T STAND:
- Lethargy
- Liar
- Wishy/washy
- Disrespectful
CULTURAL AND FAMILY BACKGROUND:
MUST HAVE:
- Culturally diverse
- Lived outside of the USA at some point
- Exotic
- Completely healed of past family issues
- Family man
- Wants kids
CAN'T STAND:
- Pampered Momma's Boy
- Pushover
- Pride (attached to culture)
- Relational immaturity
THIS IS HOW I WANT TO BE IN THE MARRIAGE:
I want to not have to work, he will provide, but I'll be able to do the things that I love to bring in extra money, not needed money. I'll have dinner ready when he gets home from work. I'll honor him and let him have the final word as the head of the household, even if I disagree, and pray that the Lord will set him straight. We will NOT argue when we have a disagreement, instead, talk it through. There will never be any suspicions in our heads to question our love for one another. We'll always seek after the Lord and have exciting conversations about God for hours. We will work in our ministry together, travelling the world together.
OBSTACLES THAT I SEE HOLDING ME BACK:
My character needs to continue to build. I need to stand firm in seeing the Lord as my main and first love. I know I will need to work on my jealousy and suspicious mindset.
Proverbs 31.10-31 What's a Woman?
" 10-31 A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing.She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks.Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:"Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises! "
The whole month of February is the Love Month at my church. Pastor Mark has a lot to say on the subject and it couldn't be better timing for me now that I'm on the dating fast. My inspiration alone comes from God. Because in all honesty, who wants to admit they're NOT ready to get married? I know what my mindset used to be: "It'll just happen when it happens and everything will be worked out through the process." Which to a certain degree that's true. But I'm realizing there are things that not only need to be but CAN be worked on now, here, today, when I'm without someone in mind- Only Jesus in mind- to marry. I'm going to dedicate myself to becoming that woman that God has called me to be, and as a bonus, it'll be the woman my future husband has always wanted. I love that God made it so simple. He gave us a guideline, as women, to follow, in what exactly makes a good wife. So basically, here's the verses put into action:- Must have Character
- Trustworthy
- Generous and loving
- Takes pride in the things she loves to do.
- Spontaneous
- Diligent
- Puts thought and prayer before everything she does.
- Eagerness to take on the day.
- Has a heart of Jesus to give to those who need.
- Has a desire to do the things she loves as a side-income.
- Joyous
- Wise
- Encouraging
- Loves and fears the Lord
Well things are looking pretty good for me! I pretty much got most of those down. The areas that I still need improvement are ones that EVERYONE can ALWAYS approve in. Character, wisdom. Yeah... that's about it. One other, however, that isn't on the list is MY ability to trust or get jealous. Those are things, for sure that I'll need the Lord to weave in and take out of me. I've realized that has a lot to do with never seeing a prime example of what trusting someone looks like. And jealousy? Well I'll just be honest, I don't know where that came from or why it's so strong in me. I always thought that "well once I'm with the one I'm supposed to be with, then I won't be jealous because he won't give me a reason to be jealous" but as Pastor Mark says "How you are and how you act now is a huge indicator of who you will be and how you will act later. Things won't change until you make a conscious effort to change them." (summed up) "When I change, everything changes." But he'll have to do his part too. Like one thing I absolutely can NOT stand and WILL NOT stand is someone who is either a) Buddy-buddy with their ex girlfriends or b) Still "good friends" with their ex girlfriends. No thanks. Come back when you're matured and ready to get rid of all that old baggage and love me for me and only me.
I finally got to make a whole list of "Must Haves/Can't Stands" last night in cell group. I have to say, I've got a lot written on there! Picky? Maybe. But is it worth it in the end? Big resounding YES. I have total and complete faith that God will bring me the one I'm SUPPOSED to be with, and so until that time comes, I'm not going to sit around looking and waiting for it. No. WHEN he decides to bring him my way, then the timing is God's timing. If I go looking, that's me not trusting the Lord. I don't want that.
For the sake of always having it in front of my face, I'm going to ask my leader if she thinks it's okay to make a post of my "Must Haves/Can't Stands" list. But until then, I'm excited to see what God is going to be doing to change me and mold me into who I'm supposed to be.
Precious Jesus,
Thank you for leaving behind blueprints of what we as your children should strive after in life. I love that about you. You never leave us dying and thirsty in the desert. You always speak to us if we just set the time aside to open your word and READ what you're trying to say. I love you, Holy Spirit. You are amazing, always on time, always diligent to point out things to me and my character, which is definitely building and growing more and more each day. Be with me today as I go through my day and into rehearsals tonight for Mardi Gras. Holy Spirit keep me warm in the cold weather. May I be supernaturally joyous all day! I love you with an unending love. Shulukt.
amen.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Matthew 11.7-19
"7As John's disciples were leaving, Jesus began to speak to the crowd about John: "What did you go out into the desert to see? A reed swayed by the wind? 8If not, what did you go out to see? A man dressed in fine clothes? No, those who wear fine clothes are in kings' palaces. 9Then what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. 10This is the one about whom it is written:
" 'I will send my messenger ahead of you,
who will prepare your way before you.' 11I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. 12From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it. 13For all the Prophets and the Law prophesied until John. 14And if you are willing to accept it, he is the Elijah who was to come. 15He who has ears, let him hear.
16"To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others:
17" 'We played the flute for you,
and you did not dance;
we sang a dirge
and you did not mourn.' 18For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon.' 19The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners." ' But wisdom is proved right by her actions.""
Sorry for the late start. I slept over at Dayari's again last night and her laptop and I were having a field day of issues. This is still great and insightful words from the Lord, even if it didn't come at six in the morning. I love how it says "the kingdom is forcefully advancing, and forceful men take hold of it." That says a lot to those skeptics that believe that Christianity is a fad and it will die out. First of all, look at how long it has been around, secondly, it's STILL around, and thirdly, it's been advancing. I love the word "forcefully" there. No- it's not indicating that we are killing people in the name of Jesus and shoving our beliefs down your throat (I'm so sick of hearing that.) But there's a reason why a person feels that way. Like I always say... when you're faced with the truth, it's uncomfortable- because you are faced with a decision: "what am I doing to do about this?" Change, and accept the cross and Jesus' unending love and his blessings and (heavenforbid!) he will make you into a better person... or turn your back on the truth and continue to live your life in doubt and sin and hurt and wounds, etc etc... It seems pretty obvious to me which is the better door to walk through. Anyhow, tangent. Sorry. The word "forcefully" says to me that once God has changed your heart, opened your eyes, you want nothing MORE than to help change other people's lives, so yes, you will talk about your beliefs. Yes, you will offer chances to help other's eyes to open. I'm just so baffled by people's responses sometimes. (I mean, don't get me wrong, I haven't had anything happen lately that is bringing this up, it's strictly the verses speaking to me.) But it's like once you see, you SEE! And I guess if you just don't, you don't. I know. I didn't before. But now I do.
Wow, my mind is a jumble right now of randomness, so my apologies for anyone reading, but at least all this makes sense to me. Last night I went to the movies and I saw "Slumdog Millionaire". It was a love story, yes, but my goodness was it an eye-opener on other cultures, on others struggling so much harder than myself right now. How selfish of me to even MENTION that I hate that my car doesn't have a heater when it's so cold out. At least I have a car. (Falling apart and all!) I have a car. I'm not going to downsize what I've been through in life. It's been tough. Really tough. But it's always good to realize that someone else somewhere else is going through something ten times worse than you. And no, you don't use that as a "whew! at least it's not THAT bad" but more of a "I need to shut up, seriously. And be thankful for what I do have."
Anyhow, I'm going to start reading a book that Dayari is letting me borrow called "Battlefield of the Mind" (yes,it's Joyce Meyers. Stop laughing at me.) It looks really interesting and it might actually open up my eyes a bit to see what's going on in my head all the time. My biggest battle is always in my mind. I'll let thoughts take place, thoughts turn into many emotions: happiness, fear, resentment, jealousy, joy, grief, etc etc. It's then that those emotions usually turn into actions: laughing, crying, yelling, cursing, grumbling, laziness, etc etc. And I know that. I understand that. And I want to battle that so it's no longer my cycle of how I work. I don't want to be controlled by my emotions... I want God to have full control over me. So I'm excited to see what God will begin to do with me.
Lord,
I thank you for where I am right now. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I don't want to be anywhere other than where you want me to be. I want nothing more than to have YOU lead me where I should go. Do things only because I've gotten the OKAY from YOU. Please forgive me for even the small grumblings I've had("I don't have a home, my car is falling apart, I can't find a job I want, I don't have any money, I can't afford that, they have it so much better than me, etc etc") Forgive me and change my heart more and more each day. Give me a thankful heart. Give me your heart, Jesus. Holy Spirit, be with me today. Always. Never leave my side. My heart. I love you, Jesus, with a love so great I can't put the right words to it. Shulukt. Shulukt. Shulukt. Shulukt. I love you. I can already turn around and see just how far I've come and I'm already amazed that I have no desire to return to my old me. You're changing me. And I love it. Shulukt.
amen.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
1 John 1.5-10
"5This, in essence, is the message we heard from Christ and are passing on to you: God is light, pure light; there's not a trace of darkness in him.
6-7 If we claim that we experience a shared life with him and continue to stumble around in the dark, we're obviously lying through our teeth—we're not living what we claim. But if we walk in the light, God himself being the light, we also experience a shared life with one another, as the sacrificed blood of Jesus, God's Son, purges all our sin.
8-10 If we claim that we're free of sin, we're only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won't let us down; he'll be true to himself. He'll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. If we claim that we've never sinned, we out-and-out contradict God—make a liar out of him. A claim like that only shows off our ignorance of God."
I'm brought back to yesterday when I was helping Tracey clean a brand new house that had just been built. As some of you may have noticed, in my prayer to God yesterday, I randomly added "May my spirit be joyous and uncomplaining," and as soon as I was typing it, I heard a voice in my head that said, "Watch, God's probably going to test you on that today to build your character and make you a woman of your word." And that's exactly what happened. This house we had to clean was pretty big, but it was just built, just painted, windows and floors just installed, the whole works. So there was a lot of cement powder everywhere. All over the floors, in all the window sills, in the bathtubs, under sinks, everywhere! Well I was working diligently, as tedious as it was, and trying my hardest to not complain about anything, (especially the cement powder that wouldn't come off of the floor, or having to use a razor to chip paint and dried cement powder off of the glass before I could clean all the windows, etc etc) (Needless to say cleaning is not my thing...) when I get a text from my sister which my mom had asked her to send to me to remind me that my storage unit rent was due. Well this just about threw me over the ledge. That was just about $60 that would have to go to a bill that I really didn't want to pay. My whole day's worth of crummy tedious work going straight to a bill I didn't want to pay. Fun.
Tracey had me take a five minute break and as soon as I got outside, everything that had built up had suddenly released and I just started crying. For no good reason other than the fact of which was stated above. It was a lot of frustration. I felt it was just not fair. (life's not fair, blah blah blah). I ended up having to call my sister and make sure she wasn't mad at me. (The enemy actually still trying to get to me through my sister, and over a simple text.) And then I had to call my Spiritual Dad and vent to him for a minute until I felt better.
The point is, I didn't allow myself to sit there and wallow in the frustration process. I made myself call two different people until the moment had passed and I felt that I could move on in a better mood than before. And the ultimate point is, this is quite honestly the first time I've cried or had a frustrating moment since my Encounter. In all honesty, not the first real moment that I've been confronted with sin and had the opportunity to sin, but the first that I felt the want to sin (to get angry and pissy and make everyone else's day bad because I wasn't having a good day). Everything else up to this point I've had God's hand on it to where I had no desire to jump into a sin. It was just a wake up call that I am still a sinner, I am still capable of destroying my own life. (Not that I'd ever EVER forgotten that, but that nothing that I felt was too big for me to get out of hadn't come up until this point.) My walk with Christ is a concious effort to keep up an ongoing relationship.
When I get stagnant, there is no longer a relationship, but a one-sided desire (from God, by the way) that goes unmet. When I change, everything changes. (Thank you Pastor Mark. >.<) That's ultimately what it comes down to. And it comes down to the second half of 1 John that I read today. If God is light and you claim to be with God yet you're constantly stumbling around in the dark, something's not right. Translation: If God is light and you claim to be with God yet you are constantly stumbling around in your emotions, in your pride, in your addictions, in your fears, in your bad attitudes, in your financial crisis, then something's not right. You need to seek after Him with your whole heart and he not only CAN but WILL heal you of these things you've dealt with your whole life.
And it just amazes me how his word has so much truth to it yet people will so many (too many) times mock it or claim it's irrelevant in our century, or try to say that it's full of contradictions (when most of the time they hadn't even read it, but will claim that just because someone they know had said it once sometime before). It just makes me laugh. I also read today in 2 Peter 3.5 "They conveniently forget that long ago all the galaxies and this very planet were brought into existence out of watery chaos by God's word. Then God's word brought the chaos back in a flood that destroyed the world." Once again, something that makes sense... It's convenient for them to forget about all that. Why? Because when they're faced with the Truth, something has to change... So I can understand their desire to stay away from the truth. I did it for the longest time. But there's only so far and so fast you can go because God catches up to you and forces you to make a choice. Him or the world?
God,
I thank you that you are a forgiving God who continued to chase after me even though I'd run off and away from you and your will. I thank you that you're building my character right now through these things that I have to overcome. It doesn't feel good... at all... but I know it's what needs to happen in order for me to grow. I thank you so so so much for your love for me. If I never grew spiritually another day in my life, it wouldn't matter just so long as I could feel your love. But thankfully you're a God that doesn't want us to be stagnant creatures, but ever growing, ever loving, ever changing. You're precious like that. You're creative like that. I ask for your forgiveness for having a complaining spirit to me yesterday. I repent and I claim that I am joyous in the Lord. I thank you that I even had the money this month to pay my bills (as opposed to last month, which, by the way, conveniently was the month prior to making my decision to follow you whole-heartedly. I can't sit here and say I don't see your blessing on my life. Thank you). You are precious. You are lovely. I am enamoured with you. Holy Spirit, be with me today, help me through tough situations with a peaceful spirit, and may I always be looking forward, never looking back. I love you I love you I love you.
amen.
Monday, February 2, 2009
1st Corinthians 2
1-2You'll remember, friends, that when I first came to you to let you in on God's master stroke, I didn't try to impress you with polished speeches and the latest philosophy. I deliberately kept it plain and simple: first Jesus and who he is; then Jesus and what he did—Jesus crucified.
3-5I was unsure of how to go about this, and felt totally inadequate—I was scared to death, if you want the truth of it—and so nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else. But the Message came through anyway. God's Spirit and God's power did it, which made it clear that your life of faith is a response to God's power, not to some fancy mental or emotional footwork by me or anyone else.
6-10We, of course, have plenty of wisdom to pass on to you once you get your feet on firm spiritual ground, but it's not popular wisdom, the fashionable wisdom of high-priced experts that will be out-of-date in a year or so. God's wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don't find it lying around on the surface. It's not the latest message, but more like the oldest—what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene. The experts of our day haven't a clue about what this eternal plan is. If they had, they wouldn't have killed the Master of the God-designed life on a cross. That's why we have this Scripture text: No one's ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it— What God has arranged for those who love him.But you've seen and heard it because God by his Spirit has brought it all out into the open before you.
10-13The Spirit, not content to flit around on the surface, dives into the depths of God, and brings out what God planned all along. Who ever knows what you're thinking and planning except you yourself? The same with God—except that he not only knows what he's thinking, but he lets us in on it. God offers a full report on the gifts of life and salvation that he is giving us. We don't have to rely on the world's guesses and opinions. We didn't learn this by reading books or going to school; we learned it from God, who taught us person-to-person through Jesus, and we're passing it on to you in the same firsthand, personal way.
14-16The unspiritual self, just as it is by nature, can't receive the gifts of God's Spirit. There's no capacity for them. They seem like so much silliness. Spirit can be known only by spirit—God's Spirit and our spirits in open communion. Spiritually alive, we have access to everything God's Spirit is doing, and can't be judged by unspiritual critics. Isaiah's question, "Is there anyone around who knows God's Spirit, anyone who knows what he is doing?" has been answered: Christ knows, and we have Christ's Spirit.
_______________________________________
I think this is pretty amazing. I've been debating in my head just a little about what made my timing of the understanding of God's plan for me any different this time as opposed to the last time I had gone on an Encounter. Because the basic truth of it was... Before, I just didn't get it... And now, I get it. But what was it exactly that kept me from not getting it before to getting it now? Well according to this scripture, it has a lot to do with the Spirit of God moving in us and through us.
Sure, I'll be the first to admit that before, I didn't want to give up EVERYTHING to Jesus... There were just SOME things in my life that were MINE MINE MINE and I WAS GOING TO DO THEM MY OWN WAY because that's just what I was always used to doing. Bottom line, I didn't have faith that God would come through for me in those areas so I was needing to go out and fufill it myself. But if Faith really is our sixth sense, God had to have given it to me supernaturally because before this Encounter, I had none. Zip. Zero. I mean, sure I would in areas that it was OBVIOUS were going to work out, and that's not a bad thing to have faith in those areas, but what about the really difficult things? "God, when am I going to get married and have a life with someone who loves me?" "God, why can't I be known as Gypsy? That's just me. That's my lifestyle. That's all that I know." So these things began to say to me: "Well God doesn't care who you marry. So just go find someone so you can get it over with" or (and my personal favorite) "I think this IS the one I'm supposed to marry!" and of course, "Gypsy is just WHO I AM... You can't change someone's identity. If I'm not this, then what am I? Where do I belong?" So basically a lot of sweettalking myself into not NEEDING to have faith in God that he would come through. I was chasing after things myself. MY God wasn't big enough or powerful enough to fit my potential marraige or identity into his plans for me.
HORRAY for more CRAP TALK from the ENEMY!
That was sarcasm, by the way. God's really showing me that I'm in the place where I'm at spiritually, emotionally (even physically) right now because this is exactly where he's called me to be. He's doing a whole number on my emotions right now, switching around my identity so that it's now found in him and not of things of this world. I'm on this dating fast and he's been BLOWING ME AWAY... and as of last night, I now have a Spiritual Father (officially). Phil Weekley has taken me on as his youngest and seventh spiritual kid, and I couldn't be more excited. I feel as though that lid that's been over my head my whole life- an area where I'd never seen growth in myself because I haven't had a father to (supernaturally and I can't explain it) be there for me and give me the encouragement that a daughter needs to hear. I feel like that lid has been lifted off and now those areas in my life that haven't been able to be dealt with or grow can now be dealt with and grow.
But none of this is possible without God's love. Without his faith that he gives us. Without his Spirit that he's given to us, we just have to call out to him and ask for it. It was nothing physically said on the encounter that changed my heart around to where now I suddenly understand the meaning of the cross and redemption and his love. No. It was his Spirit, moving through the teachings I had heard on the Encounter that seeked ME out to get me to understand and open my spiritual eyes, and because I had already commited my full heart to the whole weekend, I was ABLE to receive what he was trying to show me and give to me. I hope this is making sense to you!
God,
You are so amazing. You blow me away every day. I thank you for your Spirit that you've blessed me with- the only reason why I understand anything about you is because of the Spirit, and yet still, you are so vast that some things I don't even bother to try and understand anymore, I just accept it from you because that's the way you are. YOU never change. Why? BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO CHANGE SOMETHING THAT'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT? Bigger, stronger, faster, smarter than us mere humans. Don't forget love more. Holy Spirit, I ask that you remain with me today as I help Tracey clean. May my spirit be joyous and uncomplaining (not that I would have any reason to be- Oh wait- it's still pretty cold outside and my car still doesn't have a heater >.<) But I believe in your provision, Lord! I ask my Daddy in heaven for a new car! Nothing is too big for you, haha. I love you and I thank you for choosing me to carry out your plans. What a bigger person I am IN YOU than I would ever be on my own. Not that that's the reason for doing it. No. I do it out of love for you, and that is sincerely from the bottom of my heart. My love for you is so grand I can't even put it into puny American-English dictionary words. How much greater, then- is your love for me? And I find that fascinating! I stand amazed, over and over by you. Stay with me today. I need you. Always.
Amen.
3-5I was unsure of how to go about this, and felt totally inadequate—I was scared to death, if you want the truth of it—and so nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else. But the Message came through anyway. God's Spirit and God's power did it, which made it clear that your life of faith is a response to God's power, not to some fancy mental or emotional footwork by me or anyone else.
6-10We, of course, have plenty of wisdom to pass on to you once you get your feet on firm spiritual ground, but it's not popular wisdom, the fashionable wisdom of high-priced experts that will be out-of-date in a year or so. God's wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don't find it lying around on the surface. It's not the latest message, but more like the oldest—what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene. The experts of our day haven't a clue about what this eternal plan is. If they had, they wouldn't have killed the Master of the God-designed life on a cross. That's why we have this Scripture text: No one's ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it— What God has arranged for those who love him.But you've seen and heard it because God by his Spirit has brought it all out into the open before you.
10-13The Spirit, not content to flit around on the surface, dives into the depths of God, and brings out what God planned all along. Who ever knows what you're thinking and planning except you yourself? The same with God—except that he not only knows what he's thinking, but he lets us in on it. God offers a full report on the gifts of life and salvation that he is giving us. We don't have to rely on the world's guesses and opinions. We didn't learn this by reading books or going to school; we learned it from God, who taught us person-to-person through Jesus, and we're passing it on to you in the same firsthand, personal way.
14-16The unspiritual self, just as it is by nature, can't receive the gifts of God's Spirit. There's no capacity for them. They seem like so much silliness. Spirit can be known only by spirit—God's Spirit and our spirits in open communion. Spiritually alive, we have access to everything God's Spirit is doing, and can't be judged by unspiritual critics. Isaiah's question, "Is there anyone around who knows God's Spirit, anyone who knows what he is doing?" has been answered: Christ knows, and we have Christ's Spirit.
_______________________________________
I think this is pretty amazing. I've been debating in my head just a little about what made my timing of the understanding of God's plan for me any different this time as opposed to the last time I had gone on an Encounter. Because the basic truth of it was... Before, I just didn't get it... And now, I get it. But what was it exactly that kept me from not getting it before to getting it now? Well according to this scripture, it has a lot to do with the Spirit of God moving in us and through us.
Sure, I'll be the first to admit that before, I didn't want to give up EVERYTHING to Jesus... There were just SOME things in my life that were MINE MINE MINE and I WAS GOING TO DO THEM MY OWN WAY because that's just what I was always used to doing. Bottom line, I didn't have faith that God would come through for me in those areas so I was needing to go out and fufill it myself. But if Faith really is our sixth sense, God had to have given it to me supernaturally because before this Encounter, I had none. Zip. Zero. I mean, sure I would in areas that it was OBVIOUS were going to work out, and that's not a bad thing to have faith in those areas, but what about the really difficult things? "God, when am I going to get married and have a life with someone who loves me?" "God, why can't I be known as Gypsy? That's just me. That's my lifestyle. That's all that I know." So these things began to say to me: "Well God doesn't care who you marry. So just go find someone so you can get it over with" or (and my personal favorite) "I think this IS the one I'm supposed to marry!" and of course, "Gypsy is just WHO I AM... You can't change someone's identity. If I'm not this, then what am I? Where do I belong?" So basically a lot of sweettalking myself into not NEEDING to have faith in God that he would come through. I was chasing after things myself. MY God wasn't big enough or powerful enough to fit my potential marraige or identity into his plans for me.
HORRAY for more CRAP TALK from the ENEMY!
That was sarcasm, by the way. God's really showing me that I'm in the place where I'm at spiritually, emotionally (even physically) right now because this is exactly where he's called me to be. He's doing a whole number on my emotions right now, switching around my identity so that it's now found in him and not of things of this world. I'm on this dating fast and he's been BLOWING ME AWAY... and as of last night, I now have a Spiritual Father (officially). Phil Weekley has taken me on as his youngest and seventh spiritual kid, and I couldn't be more excited. I feel as though that lid that's been over my head my whole life- an area where I'd never seen growth in myself because I haven't had a father to (supernaturally and I can't explain it) be there for me and give me the encouragement that a daughter needs to hear. I feel like that lid has been lifted off and now those areas in my life that haven't been able to be dealt with or grow can now be dealt with and grow.
But none of this is possible without God's love. Without his faith that he gives us. Without his Spirit that he's given to us, we just have to call out to him and ask for it. It was nothing physically said on the encounter that changed my heart around to where now I suddenly understand the meaning of the cross and redemption and his love. No. It was his Spirit, moving through the teachings I had heard on the Encounter that seeked ME out to get me to understand and open my spiritual eyes, and because I had already commited my full heart to the whole weekend, I was ABLE to receive what he was trying to show me and give to me. I hope this is making sense to you!
God,
You are so amazing. You blow me away every day. I thank you for your Spirit that you've blessed me with- the only reason why I understand anything about you is because of the Spirit, and yet still, you are so vast that some things I don't even bother to try and understand anymore, I just accept it from you because that's the way you are. YOU never change. Why? BECAUSE WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO CHANGE SOMETHING THAT'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT? Bigger, stronger, faster, smarter than us mere humans. Don't forget love more. Holy Spirit, I ask that you remain with me today as I help Tracey clean. May my spirit be joyous and uncomplaining (not that I would have any reason to be- Oh wait- it's still pretty cold outside and my car still doesn't have a heater >.<) But I believe in your provision, Lord! I ask my Daddy in heaven for a new car! Nothing is too big for you, haha. I love you and I thank you for choosing me to carry out your plans. What a bigger person I am IN YOU than I would ever be on my own. Not that that's the reason for doing it. No. I do it out of love for you, and that is sincerely from the bottom of my heart. My love for you is so grand I can't even put it into puny American-English dictionary words. How much greater, then- is your love for me? And I find that fascinating! I stand amazed, over and over by you. Stay with me today. I need you. Always.
Amen.
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