1st Corinthians 1.26-31: Something to think about...

" 26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

Lord,
You work in mysterious ways and I really love that about you. May I never be proud and headstrong about where I've been, what I've accomplished, Where I'm going (only excited in you, God!) Holy Spirit, remain with me today as I head out to start my day. Keep me warm. I love you, Jesus.

Amen.

1st Corinthians 13: LOVE

"1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.
8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
11When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.
12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. "

Do we get it? Nothing is possible without love. We get no where without love. What is love?

I looked it up on Dictionary.com and there are- get this- 28 different definitions. For one word, 28 different ways to use the word. That's pretty big. I opened up my I-Tunes and typed in the word "Love" in my search. 92 songs came up. And that's just the songs that had the word in it's title, not even the songs which slyly and creatively sing about it or around it... Love is pretty powerful.

It's pretty easy to have our hearts hardened toward love. One simple thing happens and without us even realizing it, we've subconsciously made a decision: "Well that will never happen to me again..." "I'll never let someone hurt me like that again..." "You betrayed my trust, well that's fine. I'll never see you the same way again..." And before you know it, you have put walls around your heart. Sometimes you don't even know those walls are there, and you reach a situation where you have the opportunity to cry or to grieve and you're stuck asking yourself "Why can't I cry over this? Why am I not sad? How can I sit here and watch this and be completely void of emotion?" That's a pretty big indicator that your heart has become hard.

I liken it to a few different situations in my life. Caylee Anthony. The homeless. My family.

Caylee Anthony: "Oh my gosh, will they shut UP about Caylee Anthony already? Oh my GOSH, they're airing her memorial service on the news? Oh my GOSH, enough already!" How completely selfish of me. Key indicator of a hardened heart. It didn't hit me until I was sitting here with my earphones in, listening to Bjork- "All is Full of Love" and watching her memorial service as they flashed through old videos of Caylee Anthony. Then finally the thought came to me... She was three when she died... Regardless of HOW she died or WHO killed her... she was three... And that could have been my niece Vivia. I very well could be watching my Vivia's memorial service. Stab to the heart. This family is going through a grieving process, they aren't super-human just because all we've seen of the situation is through the news. They are real people, dealing with a real loss. How selfish of me to be grumbling that all the news is portraying is Caylee Anthony, Caylee Anthony, Caylee Anthony... I need to love more.

The homeless: "They did this to themselves. I don't want to give them money because they will just use it on alcohol or drugs or worse... I'm sick of seeing people begging for money. Go get a job. Try to help yourself then I'll help you." While some of that may be true (okay possibly all of it...) How many times have I been at the bottom of my hole? Did I do it to myself? Most of the time. Have I ever squandered my money on things I didn't really need when I should have been saving? You bet. How many times have I been sick to death of having to ask people for money? Every day. Have I been trying to get a job? Every day. The homeless are people too. They are like you. Like me. They've just reached the bottom of their hole and most don't even know how to climb back out. There was a time when I would be out and see homeless people, I'd salute them and say "Hey! I'm right there with ya, man!" when I was without job, without home, without money... But I'd say this out the window of my car as I was on my way to go out with my friends. How selfish of me. I don't have it as bad as them. But if I show love... give them that little bit that I have to give, it's now THEIR money, what they do with it is NOT MY BUSINESS... I've done my part to show love. I need more love.

My family: "We always act this way around each other. Things never change. Why does she embarrass me so much? I hate when she does that. I hate that he isn't this." When you grow up with a big family, it's easy to sometimes feel looked over, like you don't matter as much as the others, like you got the short straw in comparison. It's like when you have a zit, (I know, go ahead and laugh) and you get dressed to go out that night, you look awesome, everything is fitting perfect, but YOU JUST CAN'T STOP STARING at that zit! You feel less pretty. You feel as if the night would be perfect if ONLY you didn't have this thing in the middle of your forehead that seems to talk louder than your own voice to the people around you... It's yours so of course you know it's there. You're the one who has to live with it. It's kinda like that with family. You know the struggles, you know everyone's weaknesses, you know everyone's attitudes... How selfish of me. I am blessed to have a family. And even greater, a family that loves and worships the Lord, Jesus Christ. No one is perfect. NO ONE. Not even me. When you have love, it's easier to get along and look over and look past all those struggles, weaknesses, attitudes... I need more love.

Lord,
I ask for your forgiveness for not loving as much as I'm capable of loving. Forgive me for being selfish. You are the perfect example, Jesus. You love. You are love. I want to change the dictionary and the only definition it really needs it "Love: see Jesus". You are unfathomable. I ask, Holy Spirit, for more opportunities to love. Change the areas of my heart that don't love. Tear down any remaining walls around my heart that would keep me from loving. May I use 1st Corinthians as my guide map on how to love more. I thank you for your love, Jesus. It's beyond anything I could ever imagine. Shulukt, Jesus. I want my eyes to burn with a passion like I believe yours did, Jesus. A passion to love. I love that my entire body fills with chills when I simply speak your name. That's because of love. Shulukt, Jesus.

amen.

Matthew 5.33-37 Character Building!

" 33"Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.' 34But I tell you, Do not swear at all: either by heaven, for it is God's throne; 35or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. 36And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."

Okay for the record, I didn't die or fall off the planet. The Internet wasn't connecting two mornings ago and that's why I didn't have a devo posted, but I did do them, saved as Microsoft Word files and alas here I am. Early Sunday morning and fresh and ready to hear from God.

This verse speaks a lot. I like it. It talks of building your character (A LOT of character building going on these days!) It gets down to the gnitty-gritty. Let me explain.

How many times in simple conversation have I ever say, "Oh, I SWEAR I was going to..." or "Don't believe me? I SWEAR!" or "I SWEAR... This was the BIGGEST bear I'd ever seen!"

And I sit here thinking back and realizing... (let your yes be yes and your no be no...) If I had character in the area of lying or keeping my word... using the I SWEARS wouldn't feel like a necessity. Or even if I BELIEVED to have character in those areas, your whole vocabulary would begin to change.

"I know I wanted to..." "Don't believe me? Well it's the truth." "This really was the biggest bear I'd ever seen!"

I know, without a shadow of a doubt that God has changed me and rearranged my heart and made me a woman of character.

A person of character doesn't have to prove themselves to anyone, and God's definitely dealing with me about that lately. I don't owe anyone anything, it's not my job to impress or make anyone happy. My focus needs to be solely on God. And it definitely is what I aim for.

Lord,
I want you to change and rearrange my vocabulary. Holy Spirit, I ask for you gentle conviction each time I say "I swear..." and that it's only a friendly reminder that I still need to change and build my character in that area. May my yes be yes and my no be no. Hang out with me today, Holy Spirit. I love you.

amen.

Pahahaha Photo courtesy of BodyBuilding.com. Yes. That's Arnold.

Psalm 97

1 The LORD reigns, let the earth be glad;
let the distant shores rejoice.

2 Clouds and thick darkness surround him;
righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne.

3 Fire goes before him
and consumes his foes on every side.

4 His lightning lights up the world;
the earth sees and trembles.

5 The mountains melt like wax before the LORD,
before the Lord of all the earth.

6 The heavens proclaim his righteousness,
and all the peoples see his glory.

7 All who worship images are put to shame,
those who boast in idols—
worship him, all you gods!

8 Zion hears and rejoices
and the villages of Judah are glad
because of your judgments, O LORD.

9 For you, O LORD, are the Most High over all the earth;
you are exalted far above all gods.

10 Let those who love the LORD hate evil,
for he guards the lives of his faithful ones
and delivers them from the hand of the wicked.

11 Light is shed upon the righteous
and joy on the upright in heart.

12 Rejoice in the LORD, you who are righteous,
and praise his holy name.

...what an amazing God I serve...

MUST HAVES / CAN'T STANDS

With the approval of my leader is my list of Must Haves/Can't Stands in who I will marry one day!

INTELLECTUAL

MUST HAVE:

• Always wanting to learn something new
• Finished High School and wanting to grow
• Always seeking God's answers

CAN'T STAND:

• Immaturity
• Pride
• Unmotivated

SPIRITUAL

MUST HAVE:

• Leader
• Listener
• Wise
• Great Character
• Always seeking after God's best in everything
• Worshiper
• Seeks wisdom from his leader/s

CAN'T STAND:

• Stagnancy
• Lover of the world
• Controlled by his emotions

PHYSICAL

MUST HAVE:

• Fit
• Motivated
• Will keep me on my toes
• Always wanting to take trips (skiing, surfing, hiking, etc.)
• Handsome! (hawt)
• Fashionable
• Cares about his appearance
• Clean
• Creative, Creative, Creative!
• Spontaneous
• Funny
• Tattoos with meaning

CAN'T STAND:

• Fat
• Unmotivated
• Shorter than me
• Unkempt
• Messy living
• Boring
• Being Buddy-Buddy or still friends with ex girlfriends

FINANCIAL

MUST HAVE:

• Stability
• Provider
• Tither
• Generous
• Joyously hard worker

CAN'T STAND:

• Instability
• Greed

CHARACTER:

MUST HAVE:

• Man of his word
• Takes pride in his woman
• Loves the Lord more than his woman
• Romantic (flowers, planned nights, love letters, etc)
• He'll chase after me
• He's been praying for me years before even knowing me
• Leader
• Wise
• Provider
• Thinks outside the box

CAN'T STAND:

• Lethargy
• Liar
• Wishy/washy
• Disrespectful

CULTURAL AND FAMILY BACKGROUND:

MUST HAVE:

• Culturally diverse
• Lived outside of the USA at some point
• Exotic
• Completely healed of past family issues
• Family man
• Wants kids

CAN'T STAND:

• Pampered Momma's Boy
• Pushover
• Pride (attached to culture)
• Relational immaturity

THIS IS HOW I WANT TO BE IN THE MARRIAGE:

I want to not have to work, he will provide, but I'll be able to do the things that I love to bring in extra money, not needed money. I'll have dinner ready when he gets home from work. I'll honor him and let him have the final word as the head of the household, even if I disagree, and pray that the Lord will set him straight. We will NOT argue when we have a disagreement, instead, talk it through. There will never be any suspicions in our heads to question our love for one another. We'll always seek after the Lord and have exciting conversations about God for hours. We will work in our ministry together, travelling the world together.

OBSTACLES THAT I SEE HOLDING ME BACK:

My character needs to continue to build. I need to stand firm in seeing the Lord as my main and first love. I know I will need to work on my jealousy and suspicious mindset.

Proverbs 31.10-31 What's a Woman?

" 10-31 A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing.She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.She's quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks.Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:"Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!"Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises! "

The whole month of February is the Love Month at my church. Pastor Mark has a lot to say on the subject and it couldn't be better timing for me now that I'm on the dating fast. My inspiration alone comes from God. Because in all honesty, who wants to admit they're NOT ready to get married? I know what my mindset used to be: "It'll just happen when it happens and everything will be worked out through the process." Which to a certain degree that's true. But I'm realizing there are things that not only need to be but CAN be worked on now, here, today, when I'm without someone in mind- Only Jesus in mind- to marry. I'm going to dedicate myself to becoming that woman that God has called me to be, and as a bonus, it'll be the woman my future husband has always wanted. I love that God made it so simple. He gave us a guideline, as women, to follow, in what exactly makes a good wife. So basically, here's the verses put into action:

• Must have Character
• Trustworthy
• Generous and loving
• Takes pride in the things she loves to do.
• Spontaneous
• Diligent
• Puts thought and prayer before everything she does.
• Eagerness to take on the day.
• Has a heart of Jesus to give to those who need.
• Has a desire to do the things she loves as a side-income.
• Joyous
• Wise
• Encouraging
• Loves and fears the Lord

Well things are looking pretty good for me! I pretty much got most of those down. The areas that I still need improvement are ones that EVERYONE can ALWAYS approve in. Character, wisdom. Yeah... that's about it. One other, however, that isn't on the list is MY ability to trust or get jealous. Those are things, for sure that I'll need the Lord to weave in and take out of me. I've realized that has a lot to do with never seeing a prime example of what trusting someone looks like. And jealousy? Well I'll just be honest, I don't know where that came from or why it's so strong in me. I always thought that "well once I'm with the one I'm supposed to be with, then I won't be jealous because he won't give me a reason to be jealous" but as Pastor Mark says "How you are and how you act now is a huge indicator of who you will be and how you will act later. Things won't change until you make a conscious effort to change them." (summed up) "When I change, everything changes." But he'll have to do his part too. Like one thing I absolutely can NOT stand and WILL NOT stand is someone who is either a) Buddy-buddy with their ex girlfriends or b) Still "good friends" with their ex girlfriends. No thanks. Come back when you're matured and ready to get rid of all that old baggage and love me for me and only me.

I finally got to make a whole list of "Must Haves/Can't Stands" last night in cell group. I have to say, I've got a lot written on there! Picky? Maybe. But is it worth it in the end? Big resounding YES. I have total and complete faith that God will bring me the one I'm SUPPOSED to be with, and so until that time comes, I'm not going to sit around looking and waiting for it. No. WHEN he decides to bring him my way, then the timing is God's timing. If I go looking, that's me not trusting the Lord. I don't want that.

For the sake of always having it in front of my face, I'm going to ask my leader if she thinks it's okay to make a post of my "Must Haves/Can't Stands" list. But until then, I'm excited to see what God is going to be doing to change me and mold me into who I'm supposed to be.

Precious Jesus,

Thank you for leaving behind blueprints of what we as your children should strive after in life. I love that about you. You never leave us dying and thirsty in the desert. You always speak to us if we just set the time aside to open your word and READ what you're trying to say. I love you, Holy Spirit. You are amazing, always on time, always diligent to point out things to me and my character, which is definitely building and growing more and more each day. Be with me today as I go through my day and into rehearsals tonight for Mardi Gras. Holy Spirit keep me warm in the cold weather. May I be supernaturally joyous all day! I love you with an unending love. Shulukt.

amen.

Matthew 11.7-19

"7As John's disciples were leaving, Jesus began to speak to the crowd about John: "What did you go out into the desert to see? A reed swayed by the wind? 8If not, what did you go out to see? A man dressed in fine clothes? No, those who wear fine clothes are in kings' palaces. 9Then what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. 10This is the one about whom it is written:

" 'I will send my messenger ahead of you,
who will prepare your way before you.' 11I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. 12From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it. 13For all the Prophets and the Law prophesied until John. 14And if you are willing to accept it, he is the Elijah who was to come. 15He who has ears, let him hear.

16"To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces and calling out to others:
17" 'We played the flute for you,
and you did not dance;
we sang a dirge
and you did not mourn.' 18For John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, 'He has a demon.' 19The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, 'Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and "sinners." ' But wisdom is proved right by her actions.""

Sorry for the late start. I slept over at Dayari's again last night and her laptop and I were having a field day of issues. This is still great and insightful words from the Lord, even if it didn't come at six in the morning. I love how it says "the kingdom is forcefully advancing, and forceful men take hold of it." That says a lot to those skeptics that believe that Christianity is a fad and it will die out. First of all, look at how long it has been around, secondly, it's STILL around, and thirdly, it's been advancing. I love the word "forcefully" there. No- it's not indicating that we are killing people in the name of Jesus and shoving our beliefs down your throat (I'm so sick of hearing that.) But there's a reason why a person feels that way. Like I always say... when you're faced with the truth, it's uncomfortable- because you are faced with a decision: "what am I doing to do about this?" Change, and accept the cross and Jesus' unending love and his blessings and (heavenforbid!) he will make you into a better person... or turn your back on the truth and continue to live your life in doubt and sin and hurt and wounds, etc etc... It seems pretty obvious to me which is the better door to walk through. Anyhow, tangent. Sorry. The word "forcefully" says to me that once God has changed your heart, opened your eyes, you want nothing MORE than to help change other people's lives, so yes, you will talk about your beliefs. Yes, you will offer chances to help other's eyes to open. I'm just so baffled by people's responses sometimes. (I mean, don't get me wrong, I haven't had anything happen lately that is bringing this up, it's strictly the verses speaking to me.) But it's like once you see, you SEE! And I guess if you just don't, you don't. I know. I didn't before. But now I do.

Wow, my mind is a jumble right now of randomness, so my apologies for anyone reading, but at least all this makes sense to me. Last night I went to the movies and I saw "Slumdog Millionaire". It was a love story, yes, but my goodness was it an eye-opener on other cultures, on others struggling so much harder than myself right now. How selfish of me to even MENTION that I hate that my car doesn't have a heater when it's so cold out. At least I have a car. (Falling apart and all!) I have a car. I'm not going to downsize what I've been through in life. It's been tough. Really tough. But it's always good to realize that someone else somewhere else is going through something ten times worse than you. And no, you don't use that as a "whew! at least it's not THAT bad" but more of a "I need to shut up, seriously. And be thankful for what I do have."

Anyhow, I'm going to start reading a book that Dayari is letting me borrow called "Battlefield of the Mind" (yes,it's Joyce Meyers. Stop laughing at me.) It looks really interesting and it might actually open up my eyes a bit to see what's going on in my head all the time. My biggest battle is always in my mind. I'll let thoughts take place, thoughts turn into many emotions: happiness, fear, resentment, jealousy, joy, grief, etc etc. It's then that those emotions usually turn into actions: laughing, crying, yelling, cursing, grumbling, laziness, etc etc. And I know that. I understand that. And I want to battle that so it's no longer my cycle of how I work. I don't want to be controlled by my emotions... I want God to have full control over me. So I'm excited to see what God will begin to do with me.

Lord,

I thank you for where I am right now. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I don't want to be anywhere other than where you want me to be. I want nothing more than to have YOU lead me where I should go. Do things only because I've gotten the OKAY from YOU. Please forgive me for even the small grumblings I've had("I don't have a home, my car is falling apart, I can't find a job I want, I don't have any money, I can't afford that, they have it so much better than me, etc etc") Forgive me and change my heart more and more each day. Give me a thankful heart. Give me your heart, Jesus. Holy Spirit, be with me today. Always. Never leave my side. My heart. I love you, Jesus, with a love so great I can't put the right words to it. Shulukt. Shulukt. Shulukt. Shulukt. I love you. I can already turn around and see just how far I've come and I'm already amazed that I have no desire to return to my old me. You're changing me. And I love it. Shulukt.

amen.